Monthly Archives: November 2014

For A Majority of ONE

Over the last couple of years, I’ve listened to people profess their dislike for motivational talks and speakers and the ilk. The major reason they give for their dislike being that these talks and books mostly provide only ‘temporary charging up’ and are sometimes relatively impractical or too idealistic. Well, I can’t argue too much about that. As long as the loather of external motivation finds a way to keep himself motivated, he can choose to abhor any motivational tool he chooses to abhor.

What I don’t quite understand though is that for a gradually increasing subset of the ‘loathing sect’ spoken of above, reading altogether (be it motivational or educational or informative…) has become an antipathy. A couple of days ago, I heard someone say: “Why should I be reading a book in which someone expects his experience or findings to be binding on me?” I paused for a moment to let that sink in. The only problem was that it couldn’t sink in. The world in which we live in afterall is a product of thoughts and experiments and postulations and submissions of those that have before us gone.

I once read a quote: “The only thing worse than not reading a book in the last thirty days is not reading a book in the last thirty days and feeling good about it.” I think I quite agree. Books afterall show us explicitly what our minds before haven’t happened upon, what we have thought of but haven’t quite grasped/understood, what has before occurred and a projection of what is to come.

In truth, not all books are beneficial to all persons, but many books are of importance to many people. Sometimes, the message in a piece of writing might be for just a majority of one (1), not necessary for a multitude. And so, it behooves on the reader to be intentional in her selection of texts, excerpts and literature to consume for personal instruction as well as public benefit.

Perhaps today you could in your curiosity stumble upon that book/text/writing (which could radically transform your world) that was written for a majority of 1, that majority being you!

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Curiosity In A World Of Frustrated Wonderment

Curiosity is the mother of invention

And so we opine that he who intends to be a force of nature must have a curious mind

But we find that the curious spirit is not necessarily innate

More often than not, it is birthed when one gets stuck in a world of little or no opportunities

Suffice to say, curiosity begins in a world of frustrated wonderment!

It can likewise be caught by hanging out and affiliating with passionately curious people.

Once curiosity is caught, it is hard (if not impossible) to shake off.

Bo Peabody said: “The best way to ensure that lucky things happen is to make sure a lot of things happen.”

His words give flesh to the floating idea that developing an inquisition about a lot of things ensures that you find at least one thing that counts for something in the long run.

In your courting though, ensure you court GOOD RANDOMNESS, not plain silly stuff.

Curiosity breeds serendipity

Serendipity involves being alert to potential opportunity and acting on it

There’s no final solution to anything.

Think again, you’ll find a question in your answer

And if you’re always having questions, it means your mind is always alert

A bored mind is a docile mind

There are not many things as bad as having a mind chained in docility

Of what use afterall is a mind that doesn’t explore beyond its spatial or opportunistic limitations?

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Where the magic really happens

Long ago in the days of racial inequality in the United States of America as depicted in the timeless movie, The Great Debaters, 14 years old James Farmer Jnr finally had it to his neck and demanded for a chance to debate from his teacher, Mr Tolson.

Even as young as he was, James Farmer loved Miss Samantha Booke (a regular debater) and that was enough to sustain him on the sidelines as a mere substitute debater. The moment he found that the girl his soul was knit to became intimate with another debater on the team (Henry Lowe), the circuits in his head tripped and he was no longer content with watching on.

I remember the scene in which he voiced out his discontent and express wishes with great animation. His face was transformed to that of a man with a renewed sense of purpose.
Needless to say, one thing led to another and finally, he got his chance. The rest is history; He went on to become the founder of the congress of racial equality and a leading voice in civil rights movements.

You see, all James required to spur him into action and subsequent stardom was finding himself in a ‘spot’ he was no longer comfortable with. I mean, all along, he had been content with being on the sidelines, simply close to the one he loved by virtue of being on the same debating team. But then, as soon as his chances evaporated, he jerked himself to reality and made something meaningful of himself.

Sometimes, the allure of something we can’t have by virtue of being so close to it prevents our hands and minds from fashioning any worthwhile accomplishment/endeavor.

Sometimes, the atmosphere of comfort we have been raised in and so used to blocks our minds from making ingenious conceptions and sensible perceptions.

Sometimes, all we need is the illusory pocket of ‘treasures’ disappearing before our very eyes, showing us
the factual ‘sorryness’ of our state(s) and by so doing jerking us to the point we dive into action.

I don’t know about you, but for me, I wish this week that one card will topple over another, and then another, setting a domino effect into motion that springs me out of my ‘comfort zone’ to where the magic really happens.

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Conversation Is An Art

Conversation is an ART.

Its intricacies extend beyond any facial expression or verbal construction.

Therefore, an always-smiling folk isn’t necessarily a good conversationalist.

Neither is a folkress that spews many words essentially a good communicator.

Man is made to thrive on relations and interactions

And so the one with a well developed conversational sense basically finds people easy to deal with.

Expressions – written or acted – go a long way in individual interpretation of speech in context or demeanor in comportment.

Which is why a churlish mien or demeaning phrase earns one no plaudits

I’ve found that even before the full dose of your character/personality is ‘prescribed’ to the observer, capsule(s) of your communication power help(s) him in making a decision if you’re worth his time or attention.

Mostly, a bridge you’ve burnt by virtue of rash or lifeless dialogue cannot light the way for further fraternization.

The conversation debacle is of higher importance – I propose – in opposite sex affairs than same sex
relations.

I believe this is due to the fact that the male and female sects speak essentially different ‘languages’.

For example, virtually all the ladies I’ve warmed up to are those that know how to initiate or maintain captivating dialogue or both.

There are always stuff to converse about; small or serious talk, ways to make jocular pokes without being irritating or offensive, there’s an intense understanding of moods and how to work around them for yet effective tete-a-tetes despite such moods, and so on.

Most of the people I find easy to flow with I find are readers, maybe sometimes ‘watchers’ (by watchers, I mean those that have taken it upon themselves to study effective conversations of others, or sometimes those that watch a sizeable chunk of movies).

And so it’s safe to say conversation, as much as it is an art is also a SKILL that can be learnt and perfected.

Perhaps today, you could watch out for the effect(s) of your words, countenance and deeds on those around you and see if need be to fine tune some aspect of yourself to be a more interesting and effective person.

For what indeed is life without the feeling of respect or acceptance by/from others in the place of dialogue?

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WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO, THE TOPICAL MATTER OF ‘SKILL’, AND MOUTHY VACUUMS.

Phew! It’s been more than a couple of months I last wrote any blog.

A lot has happened between the times of my last post and now, chief of which is the commencement of my postgraduate studies in an area I’m almost alien to.

In that time I’ve toiled over Frobenius, Legendre and more complex mathematical computations.

I’ve been up and down seeing and learning new stuff.

How shall I fail to mention the pneumonia attack that plagued me for a few weeks in September? That was a dark time. Felt my heart was ‘gon burst out of my chest.

But I promise you, I haven’t been as busy as I would have you believe.

As a matter of fact, I fail to believe anyone is too busy to attend to stuff that matter to him.

And I must say, scribbling my thoughts and ideas for the consumption of others is more than a big deal for me.

Well, the crux of the matter is that today I’m here, and I make bold to say the proverbial ‘ink’ flows freely from here on.

I’ve found that many talkers fail to make a solid distinction between skill and talent.

They fail to make it clear that talent is innate and skill is mostly acquired

A host of people suggest skill and talent are synonyms; one of the same kind.

Talent is inborn; natural ability and technical know-how

Skill is gotten; acquired ability and technical know-how

It’s saddening that the place of skill has been relegated to the hind

For skill is the display of excellent ability by virtue of incessant practice.

A skill is no certificate, but a problem solving tool

A skill is an empowerment that provides you with an advantage.

A skill is procured when knowledge meets practice

And so any opportunity to use what you’ve learnt is always welcome,

Even if sometimes it means being ‘used’ by those you answer to, even those you don’t have to answer to.

Many a talented person never makes much of his life because of the failure to recognize, appreciate and develop a skill (just one) to make a difference.

There’s one who himself calls a driver who rarely ever drives.

One who calls himself a writer but never scribbles.

There’s one who believes he possesses strong ‘impartative’ abilities but never teaches

There’s one who is only a great cook by word of mouth.

There’s the illusory chess master, the pretentious salesman, the always idle worker, the indolent student (which may be the “master’s” student with no actual mastery in view).

History and the present day is littered with mouthy ‘vacuums’

People who never commit themselves to developing a skill in anything,

People who through life pass, taking a seat by the ‘fireplace,’

those who are content with little things.

The only way to really make a difference or to add value is by showcasing your unique skill in the ‘marketplace’.

Today presents another opportunity to begin/continue work on yourself in putting your knowledge to practice, developing meaningful skillfulness/skill(s) in the process.

For in the end, of what use is a life that offers no value?

OREOLUWA ABOLUWARIN

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