There’s a quality that is to be desired above many other qualities; it is the inability to take things personally.
While it is an enviable virtue, in reality, it is very difficult for anyone.
However, to ensure your approach to life and people is fairly unbiased, it is a necessary one to acquire.
I think being positive and resilient in the face of situations and difficulties (inanimate) is easier than taking shit/crap from humans.
Afterall, you probably can’t stand someone being bashful, dismissive or negative about you.
‘Why should he say that or act like that?’ you say. Why on earth should he have done that when he knows I don’t like being treated as such?
You assume everyone has to think the way you think. You assume foreknowledge of your likes and dislikes is enough to make someone conditioned to pleasing you absolutely
Well, you’re wrong,
In the fifth agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz (which I make reference to a lot these days), he proposed that every other person is a secondary character if your life is to be treated as a movie.
And how you see that character, as well as how you think that character sees you will be different from how the character sees you in his own ‘movie.
In essence, don’t be overly critical if the next fellow doesn’t see things in the exact way you see them.
You see, you save yourself a lot of headache if you decide that any animosity or flawed action or insensitive word directed at you speaks more about the person than about you.
When you finally learn not to take things personally, your actions will not be spurred by what anyone has done or can do for you but out of love.
You will begin to trust yourself more to act in synchronism with your thoughts and values since you will have decided that anyone who has a problem with what you do doesn’t understand the angle you’re doing what you do from.
Of course, this is not a license to act anyhow. It is more about learning to tolerate the host of eclectic behavioral patterns you see all around you everyday than any other thing.
If you’re rejected for a position or neglected by a person, it isn’t entirely because you’re a bad person (though sometimes you may have been).
If you are reprimanded or belittled, when you learn not to take things personally, you don’t respond defensively so as to prove your rightness. Rather, your speech and actions are guided by the realization that every man has his own dream of the world and acts in accordance with it.
In the final analysis, my life has been a lot easier since I started practicing not taking things personal.
Of course I still err every now and then, but then, gradually, I’ve come to understand that giving room for people’s idiosyncrasies even when unfavorable towards me is the only way to enjoy my growth and the best of my associations.
I hope you make the decision sometime.