“Minding your own business includes avoiding eavesdropping, gossiping, talking behind other people’s backs, and analyzing or trying to figure out other people.”
– Richard Carlson
There’s something about chipping in a nice statistical value to back up your claim in any discussion. First of all, it leaves the listener(s) awed about stuff you’re giving those statistics on, then again, it makes them appreciate you.I am one of those fascinated by statistics. Although it (statistics) is not an area I would readily venture into, yet, I love it, for it makes my imagination run a bit wilder than it would on a very normal day.
That said, imagine if the statistics were given of the total amount of time we spend overly bothering ourselves with matters not directly affecting us. Truth be told, a huge part of emotional and social intelligence revolves around being sensitive to all that happens around us, yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should always have a vocal opinion or strong opinion concerning everything.
I digress a bit. There exist some people that pay keen attention to details. It comes unconsciously, not like they plan on it. These details they observe mostly involves people, their idiosyncratic characteristics and the mistakes they make. Of course unless the fellow they’re studying at any given point in my time is ‘close to home’, some of them wouldn’t necessarily make a comment as regards what they observe. This – some will say – makes them (the observers) critics – however passive. I mean, they see the slightest mistakes in grammar, spelling and tenses, they spot the subtle body language signs of irritation, disapproval and pride in people’s mien, They analyse occasionally what others should have done in certain situations, they have a ‘clear picture’ of how the ideal attitude of a person should be. You see, if you think you fall into that “special category”, at some point, you just need to tone down the ‘higher observatory skill’ you think you have.
A whole lot of people sit down to run down other people with their wanton tongues, they gather to discuss and analyze things they know little or nothing about, they second-guess peoples’ motives and intentions, they have an accurate outlook of any and everything. The sad part is a whole lot of these people never live pleasant lives. Asides being jealous and bitter most of the time, they live submerged in a state of almost absolute inadequacy even in areas they think they possess supernatural strengths. The bulk of their time is spent complaining about how the world will not devote itself to making them happy.
There comes a time when you need to shake off being overly irritated by the comportment and conduct of other people. You need to embrace the hard fact that no two people can act or think the same way. It is okay to try to influence others positively. It is okay to learn and figure out ‘what not to do’ as seen from the excesses of others. It is okay to observe and then know how to relate with people based on their peculiarities. It is NOT OKAY to allow your misgivings linger, festering into envy and a rotten attitude. In the end if you check well, nobody loves the critic, at least I don’t. Why? ‘Cos he always has an example to back his claims, some of the examples exaggerative or false at best. He always has the ‘perfect opinion’ and isn’t ready (most times) to listen to any disparate opinion others might have.
You might have that acquaintance who is lousy. Instead of discussing his bad behavior with Joe, John and Peter severally, call him to order, and if he heeds not, figure out a way to deal with his prickliness. You might have those co-workers who you think do not think well of you. Try to correct that impression they have of you by being courteous and understanding. Any attempt to totally ignore them gives flesh to their burgeoning misgivings of you. You might think you can do certain things better than others, don’t lord it over them or consider them lesser than you, simply do what you think you can do better and help them up.
In the final analysis, a real man is the one who doesn’t blow his own trumpet or excessively proclaims how he would do things better than others in a garrulous manner. The interesting part is that sometimes, those we have some criticism or the other against do not even know of these things, they just keep on living their lives gaily while we keep being angry about them. The joke is on us!
Our lives interact in more ways than we can think of with the lives of those around us. The smooth running of this interactive wheel is enhanced by our acceptance of faults and our ability to take things on the chin. Focus more on your circle of influence today rather than idly analyzing what you cannot change.
May the odds always be in your favour!